I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
