Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
