I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
