I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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