I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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