Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
