hell yes lets make some ravioli
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize