Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
