Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
