so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
