Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
