You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
