I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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