You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
