"it" just moved
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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