No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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