I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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