I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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