You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
