we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
