why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize