I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
