Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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