i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize