; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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