I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
