Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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