I'd wear matching sweaters with you
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
