I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
