This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
