I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
