Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
