she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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