I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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