Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
