I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
