Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
