Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
