Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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