five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
