I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
