I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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