Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
