im having a threesome with these popsicles
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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