How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
