I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
