i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
