Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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