Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize