Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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