I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
