Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
