I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
