margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
