Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
