Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
