two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
