idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
