Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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