Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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