you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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