ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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