adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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