I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize